In my absence
I have considered leaving, the silence of my absence
drifts away with the wind
What would they say to me? Would they sing for me? Send me away with the words of a
love song so I know I have lived.
I see in their eyes childish chatters, clambering up my banyan tree in foolish fantasies
Mother tree’s long beards were sweeping and generous
I see green roses, raw from their youth
Stumbling to reach, and prick.
Then at the seawall, trying. Crashing waves lick and lap at the jagged stone walls,
rounding its edges as the sun dipped towards the glimmering sea
A silence was lost to the wind,
And I shrank in.
Within the city limits I hardened into a sojourner adrift
The bright tones of a sax, of some tunes sad and sweet
That I didn’t know it complete.
The water crested and fell
As the dull drumming of the sea
echoed in the wind.
But I found myself in the mountains, guided by the mountaintop winds and I thought I had wings.
I learned to breathe again through the alpine meadow speckled with purple buds and the icy blue lake awash with smooth silt and that’s when
You found me
You found me. You found me you found me you found me
Within the city’s cacophony, the cawing and clattering of crows, cradled in scars you found me
You cracked open my shell. Lights streamed in,
Rendering me overwhelmed with greed and gratitude
And when I get sucked back in I’ll remember your touch and the stardust melody
And won’t you miss me?
In my heart (the neurons firing forming beliefs) I know.
I know, darling.
Not only will they miss me they will sing and dance and cheer for me, scream on
mountain tops till their lungs drop and oh may their souls be free
So if I do leave — ere I do leave — it’s up to me to have tried truly every eve
And my breathing will sing with the wind
Helena Miranda Ventosa